It’s been a year…
About a year ago, I decided that I would take the risk and write to the Coven of Leaves to be considered as a seeker. I remember sitting up, writing a letter about why I wanted to join and what led me on my journey. I hand wrote my letter on Raven-printed paper with tears in my eyes as I released the pain from being deceived and lied to for twenty+ years by a plagiarized Druidic group. The letter was cathartic, an while there was no guarantee that I would get in, I knew that there was no going back to the past built on lies and manipulation. Yet, I was accepted.
So, I began my year of silence and healing. I retreated from community events, attempting to keep my studies uninfluenced by the voices of others. While I could say this was a struggle, I had the advantage of being heavily involved in a graduate program. I did have to take a step back from attending Freemasonic rituals, since scheduling between Coven meetings, Masonic meetings, and graduate assignments while teaching full-time became impossible. I believe that I needed to learn the ability to say “no” in order to not over-extend myself. I believe that was a fundamental lesson I needed to learn this year.
I finished my dissertation and graduated. That was an achievement that brought relief and a sense that I could now return to focusing on my spiritual path. Part of that path involves getting back into my arts — fiber arts: knitting, weaving, and spinning. Once the pressure of school receded, I began to have dreams again. My creativity is beginning to return. I’m hearing the gods easier now, some that would not interact with me before.
Cerridwen invited me to her cave to drink from her cauldron. I sometimes wonder if she waited until I received my degree before she would allow this to occur. (funny thing, she splashed me in the face when I tried to drink. Seems like this is one of her antics.) In a meditation, Hekate approached me. I was very confused, since for fifteen years she had refused to work with me — actually a strong aversion from her when I walked past her altars. Now she insists that I find the perfect key for her. I’m now on the lookout for that key (but I suspect she wants a skeleton key from my grandparents’ house, if my mom still has it).
I continue to hear the voices of Sekhmet and the Morrighan as they guide me in my path. Each have left me with offering for them in random places. Herself finds it fun to leave me feathers at the middle school I teach at. It is her challenge to see if I will keep my devotion in front of the people I work with in the world outside of the Coven. Sekhmet is always with me (more than the tattoo on my back). She leaves snake skins on the hiking path for me. Both make themselves known on a daily basis.
As my first year of study comes to a close, I feel more connected magically to the world around me. Now to see how the new year unfolds…